Jim and I were dating in college in 1967. I felt like I had met “my guy” and was so delighted. I was anticipating him asking me out for our New Year’s Eve date when he called before we left campus for the winter break. Instead of asking me out, though, he actually broke up with me on the phone, saying something like, “I don’t think we should see each other anymore. We are just too different and it wouldn’t work out.”
Shock ! My heart was broken. I couldn’t speak. I mumbled something and hung up.
When I went home for the holiday break, I felt so sad, hurt, and even depressed. What had happened? I walked around in a daze and had trouble relaxing. I spent New Year’s Eve with my girlfriend and her sister, in their living room, watching the New Year’s ball drop.
When I returned to the winter semester, I was still depressed and, big surprise, I got very sick with a high fever. After weeks of being in the infirmary, burning up and being unable to eat, I drifted off to a gray and lonely place. My parents came to college to take me home after weeks of lethargy and a very swollen sore throat. I finally recovered and returned to school for the spring semester. Entering the student center‘s back to school dance, Jim and I saw each other across the crowded room. We cautiously re-connected and then happily dated, getting engaged in 1969 and married in 1970. I guess we are well suited for each other, despite all the differences!
I have recounted the New Year’s Eve story to Jim many times. He's really good at empathizing that that was hard for me. What was different this year is that he kindly asked me, “How can I help you heal from this traumatic situation?” (FYI, “healing” is my focus word for 2020.) We discussed what would mend my broken heart.
Well, I am happy to report that he asked me out for this 2019-2020 New Year’s Eve in a sweet and genuine manner! I was so touched by his generous offer to do anything I wanted. When I told him my heart's desire, he set off to plan and arrange our special First New Year’s Eve — thus we would have a Do Over!
We got dressed up for our date! Enjoying a lovely dinner at the Mercury Cafe, with accompanying jazz music, we felt romantic and sweet — even tender and new. After leisurely dining, we went to the upstairs venue for a live music concert. Jim and I danced the night away. Such energy and joy kept us up till way after midnight! The night was illuminated with the glory of healing.
The next day I awoke in a relaxed and peaceful mood. As I entered my morning meditation, I noticed a subtle, hidden, protective emotional membrane enclosing me. Had it been here all these years because of the hurt Jim’s sudden rejection had caused? As I remembered the evening we had just spent bringing in 2020, the membrane popped! A newfound freedom to love and be loved!
After 52 years, I am really healing from that trauma. The subtle membrane was unknown to me. Once it popped, I felt an inner expansion and an outward Hurray!
I am so happy we went through this process. I learned so much.
What is lurking in your subconscious that can be healed now and free you to love and be loved?
One client told me her episode from the past, and we applied various healing techniques to interrupt the pattern and open the way for her current true self to emerge.
It’s never too late to be happy! Shifting old patterns to new awareness can be so empowering. Freeing up more energy for life keeps us young and vibrant!
Let me know how I can support you. Set up your free consultation at www.soulfulcouples.com.
Always,
Ruth Sharon
Lic. Professional Counselor
Wellness and Relationship Coach
www.soulfulcouples.com
ruth@soulfulcouples.com
Ruth Sharon is a relationship coach, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT). Her passion is facilitating couples to enhance the vitality of their relationship and make healthy lifestyle choices. Ruth shares her wisdom, compassion and humor with individuals, couples, families, and groups. Ruth and her husband, who have been married since 1970, co-authored Secrets of a Soulful Marriage: Creating and Sustaining a Loving, Sacred Relationship, SkyLight Paths Publishing, 2014. They are delighted to offer coaching for couples and singles, in person and virtually, as well as transformative couples’ retreats, seminars and online courses.
